Something Lighter Part 2- Baby Nurse

Working

My preceptor calls new nurses "baby nurses". It's true in my case because half the time I want to curl up into a fetal position and scream.

Instead I put a smile on my face, walk into my patient's room and say, "Hi, I'm Jan, I'm going to be your nurse for today." When what I really want to say is, "Hi, I'm Jan, I WANT MY MOMMY!"

Babies do cute funny things that make their parents laugh. I do funny things that make my preceptor laugh. I came out of a patient's room and said, "I think she has a pericardial friction rub." (Oh look at baby using big words). My preceptor checked, came out of the room with an indulgent smile on her face, patted me on the head and said, "Oh you cute baby nurse, your patient is SNORING!"

When babies are learning to eat, they spill their milk and get food everywhere. Baby nurses spill urine and get feces everywhere.

Babies sometimes like to bite and may even draw blood. Baby nurses, on the other hand, hate to do Accuchecks and can't draw blood to save their lives.

Babies like to bang their toys and make lots of noise. I also like to bang things. I bang the heck out of the IV tubing to get rid of air bubbles and I love to make noise by setting off the bed alarm 19 times because I forgot how to use it correctly.

Babies have trouble with numbers. They can't remember if there really is a number called "eleventeen' or not. Baby nurses sometimes have trouble with numbers. It's a 25 gauge needle for a subQ, not an 18 gauge. Silly baby!

When babies are very little they sometimes get their days and nights mixed up. So do baby nurses going to night shift.

Parents teach their babies patiently and fix their mistakes. They teach their babies the right way to do things over and over again. They teach their babies to be good, decent human beings and how to treat other people. My preceptor does the same for me, baby nurse. One day I hope I will grow up to be just like her.

P.S. I might actually consider the use of a diaper. Very useful for baby nurses who are behind on their charting.

[Megan S. this post is dedicated to the most patient person in the history of the world.]