Something Lighter

I have no label for this one...

None of this is going to apply soon. You know why? Because we'll have a NEW BUILDING. I mean YOU will. You. I graduated. I forgot that for a moment. Until then here are some really practical tips about surviving SW nursing school.

Let's start with the most important room in the building. The women's restroom. Sorry guys, I cannot address the particular problems of the men's restroom since I have never actually been in there (not for lack of trying, they barred the door and wouldn't let me). Hey, my girlfriends do us all a favor and flush that middle toilet TWICE. Thanks. Also, you might want to bring your own paper towels. By the way, I still haven't figured out where the faculty go to the bathroom. It bothers me that I even ponder questions like this.

Let's talk about how to dress for class. There are two settings on the thermostat in the classrooms. Boiling hot and freezing cold. The freezing cold setting will work nicely in the winter and the boiling hot setting will work nicely in the summer. But, hey, if you pass out from heat exhaustion, there's a nurse or two around to help. I had a friend that brought a blanket to class in the winter. Someone could make a fortune selling hot chocolate.

Talking of drinks. I used to like to play a little game called "Vending Machine Lottery". I once put in 75 cents and got FOUR sodas, my money back and an extra quarter. It made my week. It's the little things that matter when you are in nursing school. It almost made up for all the times I got zip from the vending machine. When I really needed caffeine. I mean REALLY needed caffeine. WHERE'S MY COKE???

When you are fairly alone in the building (i.e. just you and Ms. Deb) there are some unique opportunities presented to you. The study room has the most amazing acoustics and you can sing really loud in there and sound really good. Until someone comes and tells you to shut up because there's a HESI going on that you didn't know about. You can also hear the pitter-patter of tiny feet sometimes when it's nice and quiet. Just make sure no ceiling tiles fall on your head.

It is so nice to see all the smiling (read "I AM OUTTA HERE") faces on the walls. Except for that class whose picture is on the floor behind the garbage can in the conference room. I always wondered what the heck THEY did. And talking of those pictures, there are very few of us who look good in white scrub tops and NOBODY looks good in the uniform.

The classrooms are the repository for every third-grade sized desk in SW. There are at least ninety desks stuffed into every room. If you are tall you get to sit there with your knees up next to your ears. It's fun. No wonder I am so good at yoga now. I also want to apologize to the wall next to where I used to sit for all the stray pencil marks. And youtube will NEVER work on the state-of-the-art computer system, but it is tremendous fun watching your teacher trying to make it work, forgetting that there are 27 voice recorders on the desk and saying things he THINKS are under his breath.

The parking lot is very, very peaceful. Just remember to have your friend wake you up before class when you pass out from exhaustion in your car. Don't forget about that HOLE right in the middle of the street by the parking lot. That is an extremely logical place for a hole. Oh why not just put it in the middle of the street right next to the entrance to the parking lot? It's an official hole and stuff, so you know someone thought this through very carefully. Some of us are klutzy but again, if you fall and break your arm, there is a nurse or two around to help.

There is a computer lab and then there's the secret, locked HESI torture chamber. Students go in there and never come out. And while you are in first and second semester you will think that fourth semester students are mythical creatures. Just say to yourself, "I do believe in fourth semester students, I do, I do" and a nurse angel will get its wings.

Nursing school is like a soap opera set in an insane asylum with a dash of high school thrown in, but at some point you realize that crazy place was your home for two years.